>Let's Begin.
[there's gonna be a cool [S] Page animation here eventually but we have no ETA on that so please just listen to this music while reading the narration]
A camera drone skitters close to the water, skimming the surface as a purple-blooded youngster watches to make sure it stays in the air, his friends gathered behind him, daring it to go lower. He pulls it up right as a fish tries to jump out and grab it, and the crowd goes wild.
Closer to the sun, a human and a troll share a well-grilled steak, cooked to perfection by the lava that civilisation has tamed on their world of fire. The troll tells a joke about her blue blood, it goes down well with her companion.
On a nearby world, three trolls with green blood of various shades sit outside in the sunlight, playing cards to pass the time and celebrate the lack of rain. The limeblood appears to be winning, the jadeblood says she’s letting him.
On the fringes of inhabited space, two carapacians look inquisitively at a snow sculpture. The prospitian says it’s a commentary on what it means for something to be art, his dersite companion thinks it’s a struggle between combatants, abstracted. Neither of them are right, it’s a prank pulled on a sleeping bronzeblood, now sulking to herself in an oddly-shaped igloo.
On a small blue orb, in the suburbs of its only major city, a professionally dressed human trudges home, tossing an empty bottle into the trash. He sits down by some bushes to catch his breath.
Meanwhile, on a far larger blue planet, a late breakfast is indulged in, and its creator and consumer returns to her quarters, and thinks about the day to come...
Hive Rules: ACT 1
Let's start this off properly, shall we?
A young troll stands in her bedroom. Though it was nineteen years and twenty-three days ago that she was given life, it is only today, the 9th of May, 65 AR, that her life will truly begin.
She already has a name, but let's not break convention here.
>Enter Name.
Your name is NAITCH GLEMPT, you don't like to TALK ABOUT YOURSELF, and it's currently TEN HOURS IN THE PAST.
In the FUTURE, you will be TAKING A CAB to a warehouse just outside the city of ZEPHYR, the biggest city in the LAND OF WIND.
One of your associates is arranging a very special game, the very game spoken of in myth, the game that turns mortals to gods, Sburb, and today is the day it’s set to take place.
You should really be getting ready to fly out and be where you are ten hours from now.
The game is to be played in a SECRET LOCATION, a WAREHOUSE located in the suburbs of ZEPHYR. You, however, do not LIVE on LOW, nor do most of the game’s players.
You live on EARTH-C, more commonly just called EARTH, in a city known as THE TROYT, MICHIGAN in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, a country you have no strong opinions of.
THE TROYT was known for its MOTOR INDUSTRY in antiquity, but now is known to host the GREATER MIDWESTERN BROODING CAVERNS below.
You’ll be glad to leave this place behind.
You head to your computer to run the SBURBLINK EXECUTABLE, which will link it to the computer you use in the WAREHOUSE to ENTER. This ensures that all your BELONGINGS will come with you, so you don’t have much to PACK.
Incidentally, as you live in the Post-Scarcity Utopia (yeah, right.) of THE THIRD UNIVERSE, you don't have a TROLLTAG like your ancestors of yore did, instead you prefer to communicate via RACKET: THE TRUE GAMER'S CLIENT, and so have a "USERNOISE" instead. Your USERNOISE is counterCulture and you emphasisE thE endS oF wordS, foR reasonS thaT wilL sooN becomE apparenT.
It seems you have a message on Racket that you should check out.
@vehementEstuary
---1 new message---
VE: Hey, are you doing alright?
CC: yeaH, i’M finE, whY dO yoU asK?
VE: I didn't see you at the meetup last week, people were wondering where you were.
CC: meetuP?
VE: Yeah, the biannual class of sixty two jadeblood meetup.
VE: The one where we get the gang back together for drinks and shit? That one.
VE: You got an email about it.
CC: ohhhhH, thaT.
CC: yeaH I kindA filteR anythinG witH thE worD “jadE” iN iT intO mY spaM foldeR automaticallY.
CC: foR yoU seE, I aM nO merE jadeblooD, i’M somethinG neW anD excitinG, A viridianblooD.
VE: That's not a thing.
VE: Please stop trying to make viridianbloods a thing, it's not going to be a thing.
CC: whY noT?
CC: iF peoplE caN bE bluE oR ceruleaN oR cobalT, iF peoplE caN bE reD oR scarleT, iF peoplE caN bE rusT oR burgundY, whY thE helL can’T I bE viridiaN?
VE: Okay.
VE: First off I'm pretty sure that rustblood is like, a hemophobic slur, and secondly you can't just make new words and pretend they're the same as long-standing cultural traditions.
VE: Thirdly, why do you care?
CC: yoU knoW whY I carE, jadE iS A loadeD fuckinG terM, iT haS connotationS anD shiT. yoU wanT tO talK hemophobiA there’S somE righT therE.
CC: caN wE talK abouT somethinG elsE? I feeL likE wE haven’T spokeN iN monthS anD I don’T wanT thE conversatioN thaT breakS thaT tO bE aN argumenT.
VE: Sure, what's up?
CC: how’S lifE oN lolaR? compareD tO eartH, I meaN.
CC: I remembeR yoU beinG reallY exciteD abouT thE movE.
VE: I can tell you this much, it sure is extremely fucking bright over here.
VE: Not that it's a problem, mind you. I quite like it.
VE: Unfortunately for you, it's for jadeblooded reasons that you hate.
VE: That being our natural resilience to harsh sunlight.
CC: foR fuck’S sakE.
CC: yoU saiD wE coulD movE oN.
VE: For what definitely won't be the last time, just be cause you can't stand our roots doesn't mean that the rest of us can't enjoy them.
VE: Sorry, I've turned it into an argument again.
CC: yoU don’T neeD tO bE, I knoW I turN intO A completE assholE wheN iT comeS tO politicS.
CC: buT alsO.
CC: brighT? iS thaT iT?
VE: It s all in the name, hehe, they don't call it the Land of Shade and Rain.
VE: My apartment has a good view of the ocean. Not like that's exactly hard to get around here, but I like it nonetheless.
VE: And regarding the brightness, even the nights are bright.
VE: Fucking somehow.
VE: Anyway, how's The Troyt?
CC: samE aS iT eveR waS.
CC: whicH iS tO saY "borinG".
CC: i’vE beeN tryinG tO geT A joB buT you’lL neveR guesS whaT joB offerS arE goinG arounD aT thE momenT.
VE: Brooding cavern attendant?
CC: yyyyyyyyyuP.
VE: I hate to bring it up again, but this *is* some thing we discussed at the meeting you skipped out on.
CC: finE, I mighT, *mighT* comE tO thE nexT onE. alrighT?
VE: It's better than nothing. I'll take it.
VE: Is what I would say if I didn't know where you were going.
CC: oH, shiT, yoU hearD abouT thaT? I didn'T thinK yoU werE interesteD. dO yoU wannA comE? there'S stilL timE.
VE: Oh gods no, it's suicide. I'm going to stay on LOLAR with Desrey and Roshek and we're all going to live to ripe old ages without you.
CC: hA hA, stoP thE presseS, aliriI crowaT haS learneD hoW tO telL jokeS.
CC: i'M goinG tO bE finE. iF kanayA fuckinG maryaM caN beaT thiS gamE theN sO caN I.
CC: anD I won'T neeD tO reseT thE fuckinG universE tO dO sO.
VE: Unless you already did.
CC: iF somE otheR fuckerS faileD beforE I diD, theN i'M betteR thaN theM aS welL.
CC: i'lL seE yoU lateR, oncE i'vE becomE goD oR somethinG.
VE: Sure.
VE: Goodbye, Naitch.
It’s a real shame she’s so bought into the old ways of things. She was your best friend back in the day. At least this game is gonna properly reunite you with some more accomodating friends.
As daunting as today is, you're more excited than you've been in a long time. Not for the game, the game's a means to an end, no, you're excited to finally have one over on your nemesis. You clench your fist when you even think of her name. Kanaya Maryam.
You fucking hate Kanaya Maryam.
You hate what she stands for, you hate her stupid face and her stupid ideals and the stupid stupid STUPID influence she has over your blood group. You pick up a dart from your dresser and throw it at your dartboard, hitting Kanaya in the eye. Take that! That's for turning Michigan into a fucking breeding ground! She did this YEARS before you hatched but that doesn't mean you're not mad, damn it! This is America, land of the free and home of the brave! That's what all the old Earth-B media says, at least, and the guys from those movies would NOT let their home get turned into a daycare where honest hardworking jade- you mean viridianbloods are forced into their historic rules as attendants to the mother grub! You don't even LIKE the mother grub! Or ANY grubs! They don't even TASTE good!
You pause to catch your breath, getting this worked up is unnecessary with what YOU'VE got coming.
>Naitch: Question why such a complex geopolitical entity as the USA could have survived the trip to the new universe when it was both destroyed by floods AND only remembered by a single-digit handful of individuals.
You don't do this, because it's never something you've bothered asking yourself before. You DO, however, consult your map of NORTH AMERICA, a continent you've travelled the length and breadth of.
From history class you remember the continent was split by four of the Founders, including ROSE LALONDE, who's only relevant due to her IRRITATING TENDENCY to associate with MRS. MARYAM and your EMBARRASSING childhood obsession with HER MEDIOCRE WIZARD BOOKS, you knew basically everything there was to know about those books, a fact that makes you cringe nowadays. The others you have no strong opinion of, though you much prefer living in THE USA, a country largely untouched by Founder influence, as opposed to CANADA, KEBEK, MEJICO, or CALIFORNIA. You admire FLORIDIA'S ability to remain UNINFLUENCED by modern politics, at least.
>Naitch: You're done being you, be someone else instead.
You fail to not be Naitch Glempt and instead find yourself being Naitch Glempt three days ago. It's a simpler time, really, you were younger then, and full of energy, and bored out of your skull. Fortunately, a Racket message has appeared to rouse you from your apathetic delirium, and it's not somebody you know. Maybe it'll be interesting.
@laconicLuminary
---1 new message---
LL: Good morning, Naitch, I come bearing nevs...
LL: There’s a game group forming, and you are inwited.
CC: oH, cooL, whaT gamE werE yoU thinkinG?
CC: jusT checkinG, becausE I *thinK* I knoW whO yoU arE buT I wannA bE surE, yoU *arE* sc’S frienD, righT? thE newblooD?
CC: thE onE shE talkS abouT? wE spokE oncE maybE?
CC: noT jusT somE randO?
LL: Yeah, that’s me, there's no vay she joins if you don't, so I’m cutting out the middleman.
LL: Game’s Sburb,,, by the vay. Should'we mentioned that.
Oh shit. This IS interesting.
CC: I thoughT theY goT riD oF anY anD alL copieS oF thaT.
CC: yoU knoW, cuZ it’S hellA fuckinG dangerouS.
LL: They did.
LL: It’s a ROM Hack done by SE, they found some code on an unsecured netvork and made a vorking copy in, I don’t knov,,, less than a year???
CC: diD theY noW? somehoW thaT doesn’T surprisE mE?
LL: I didn’t think it vould, are you friends?
CC: I wouldn’T saY “friendS”, peR sE, wE knoW eacH otheR buT i’M noT surE I coulD saY I *likE* theM. theY arE uH, difficulT tO geT alonG witH.
LL: You try being pitch vith them.
CC: shiT, yoU twO arE hatedatinG?
LL: Yeah,,, but I’m not sure it’s vorking, they’we been pretty detached lately,,, but maybe that’s just game shit. I'm not exactly a computer vizard so I don't knov hov hard they'we actually been vorking...
CC: damN, that’S rougH.
LL: Putting my hate life aside, ve should talk game. Are you in???
CC: i’lL thinK abouT iT.
CC: I guesS thiS iS aN internationaL interplanetarY gamE theN.
LL: SE doesn't exactly hawe many local friends. If nothing else I'm excited to meet up with them in person again... Vell, as excited as you can be to see your kismesis in real life.
CC: oH yeaH, I figureD yoU weren'T froM thE samE placE.
CC: I wannA saY germaN.
LL: Vhat? Because of the Vs and Ws? That's just an old thing I newer bothered updating...
CC: oH? wherE arE yoU froM theN?
LL: ...
LL: South Germany...
CC: LMAo
CC: i'M A fuckinG wizarF.
CC: fucK.
CC: wizarD.
LL: Your tremendous vizarf povers aside, vhy does it matter vhere I'm from? It's not like countries mean anything other than people LARPing as people from Earth-B novadays.
CC: yoU sounD likE you'vE beeN talkinG tO eC.
CC: thE fuckinG commiE.
LL: She is as persuasiwe as she is enigmatic...
CC: iF bY thaT yoU meaN shE fuckinG ruleS.
CC: fucK I haven’T seeN heR iN ageS.
LL: Maybe if you didn’t liwe in the US you vould see her more often... Just a suggestion.
CC: you’rE fuN, I likE yoU.
LL: Oh, speaking of EC, she's on the shortlist of people to inwite. Vould you like to do the honors?
LL: I’d ask her myself but I’we got lots of other shit to do.
CC: I meaN...i'M noT fullY solD oN thiS gamE yeT.
CC: buT I *wilL* dO thaT becausE she’lL definitelY saY yeS.
LL: Oh, yeah, of course,,, she’ll jump at it...
LL: Just get back to me if you decide to say yes and I'll send you the instructions in a more readable format that SE vould...
CC: aighT, cooL.
CC: talK tO yoU lateR.
Sburb. The God Game. You've heard about it, of course, you were taught about the dangers of it by SCARE: Sburb Containment And Resistance Education, but you never thought it was REAL. Not in the way that the legends told it, anyway. You know the concept, a fully-immersive video game that transports you to a pocket dimension where the goal is to become a god. The basic numbers given told you that thirty-four individuals were known to have played the game, and yet there are only fifteen Founders. The gods of Wind, Foresight, the Arts, the Stars, Love, Justice, Technology, Time, Light, the Mother Grub (blech!), Life, Ideals, Creation, the Soul, and Rebirth. You wonder what you'd become a god of, before deciding to become the patron god of Viridianbloods. Not that you've decided to play yet, obviously.
You've been told to invite SE, but you check to see everyone who's online.
You don’t have a lot of contacts, so checking your friends list doesn't take long. vehementEstuary is offline, extolCoastline is AFK, but you already know you're going to talk to her, stoneCold is on Do Not Disturb as per usual, slapdashPoolshark is just offline, you don’t need to invite sequentialEccentric as they're running the damn thing, and the only other people you have DM history with, bilateralFiasco and zenithNixed, are people you’ve blocked for being """trolls""". Someone should really come up with a better word.
You decide to attempt that most powerful of techniques: The Group DM
@extolCoastline & @stoneCold
CC: heY bitcheS.
CC: yoU don'T knoW eacH otheR, buT yoU botH knoW mE, anD yoU botH knoW LL, sO i'M puttinG yoU togetheR.
CC: i'vE beeN inviteD tO plaY sburB, anD i'M payinG thE invitE forwarD.
Now...you wait...
You don't have to wait long
EC: imin
EC: iamSOfuckinginyouhavenoidea
EC: thisbetternotbeafuckingprankbecauseimmoreinthaniveeverbeeninforanythinginfuckingHISTORY
EC: legally you have to tell me if its a prank
EC: if im being got here ill be so fucking mad
CC: nO pranK. it'S reaL. eveR hearD oF sequentialeccentriC?
EC: is that the guy who managed to rebuild the code for xcom in like a week
EC: i know OF them
CC: theY madE A roM hacK. ll'S theiR kismesiS sO she'S beeN invitinG peoplE.
EC: holyshit
EC: holyshitholyshitholyshitthisistheBESTfuckingday
SC: Hmm.
SC: Naitch, you have caught me like a fish with this bait. What else can you tell us? Reel me in.
CC: that'S alL I knoW, you'rE gonnA havE tO talK tO lL oR sE tO learN morE.
SC: Well, you have not *failed* to tempt me, I will say. The chance to make my "Mom" more mad that she's been in her life is one I would be a fool to pass up. Are *you* in? Or are you just a bird with a note wrapped round her foot?
EC: just say carrier pigeon
SC: No.
CC: I don'T knoW, I meaN I *aM* prettY busY, y'knoW? beinG A professionaL musiciaN takeS A loT oF mY timE.
SC: Naitch you have not made a new song in a sweep and a half. You look at the notes on your screen and you blink three times and then close the tab to go and "jam out". I want a tab check, now.
You flip over to your Nix browser window. You have thirteen tabs open, seven of them are just Screwtube videos of songs you like. You close them hurriedly.
CC: siX.
CC: anywaY, I *aM* makinG musiC, i'M workinG oN A neW albuM.
EC: ohshitsweethowmanysongs
CC: ninE, buT there'S fivE morE bonuS/demO trackS.
SC: I think that's a lie. I feel like, at this point, it's less a thing you *do* and more a thing you *did*. You should join the game, it will get you out of your hive at least.
CC: i'M noT lettinG myselF bE peeR pressureD likE thiS.
EC: cool
EC: anywayimgonnagotalktoLLandthenworkoutwhatthefucktodo
EC: laternaitchireallyhopeyoujoin
EC: youseemcooltooSC
SC: Thanks, I am.
extolCoastline left the group.
SC: Let me put this in a way I think you'll get.
SC: You know the tale. You've heard the term "scratch" get thrown round. You know, just as well as I, that it's not a thing you'd want to do.
SC: The gods would have failed if not for the scratch. If we play this game and we don't scratch it, you'll have one up on you-know-who.
SC: And, if the tales are true, you may not see her for the rest of your life.
CC: ugH. fucK. you'rE righT.
CC: I don'T thinK I caN talK mY waY ouT oF thiS, tO bE honesT.
CC: especiallY aS iF I don'T comE, I mighT losE yoU anD eC foreveR.
CC: finE. i'lL plaY.
SC: That's what I like to hear.
stoneCold added sequentialEccentric to the group.
SE: W5ll w5ll w5ll, 96 9t 9sn't t51m 81t5s-85r-own-2loo4-typ5. W5l3om5 to t85 most 9mport1nt t89n7 you'll 5v5r 4o.
>Past Naitch: Be Present Naitch.
Once again, for the first time, you find yourself in a cab, driving through Zephyr. The CAB DRIVER is telling you some boring story about how his many-times-great grandfather was pivotal in ending some sort of war and killing some sort of evil empress. The Founders are involved somewhat, and drugs, and explosions. Despite sounding fascinating he's making it sound incredibly tedious. You wish it came with pictures.
The cab arrives at the destination, an abandoned warehouse. A human with thick glasses waves you over.
????: Hey You made it
????: CC right
NAITCH: Naitch, Naitch Glempt.
????: Huey Martin
HUEY: Nice to meet you
You see a rust- sorry, a burgundyblood in a thick jacket and a tealblood in plain shirt and tie. You nod to acknowledge the fact that his glasses have the same frames as yours, he nods back.
HUEY: Welcome to the Dead Gamers Society
>Meanwhile, in the past.